As a mom, you probably feel like you say the word “No” all day. Especially if you have a toddler because it seems like their favorite thing to do is things they are not supposed to. Yet, if we are honest with ourselves we may say No a lot, but not always at the times and to the things that matter the most. We often can find ourselves overwhelmed, overextended, and exhausted because of all the things we said Yes to when we should have said No. In order for us to practice better self-care, we have to learn the power of No.
Something that should be so simple we often make complicated. We allow what others may think, our fear of being left out, our pasts, and other hangups to cause us to say Yes to things we should say No to. For me, this used to happen a lot when I first became a SAHM. I believed that since I was no longer working, that I could make myself available to any and every opportunity presented to me. Whether it was a church event, an ‘urgent’ errand my hubby needed me to run, a need of a friend, or a school volunteer request, you name it I said Yes to it. I know I’m not alone in this. I often found myself saying Yes to things I really did not want to simply because I felt powerless to say No. However, this is so far from the truth.
Some of the things you have to learn to say No to doesn’t have to necessarily be ungodliness, but we still have to truly examine our reason for saying yes. Are you saying Yes while fighting against the still small voice within you because of your own fears and hangups? Are you saying Yes to something that may not be the best thing for you and your family at this point in your lives? Will saying Yes cause disruption to other things in your life and your family’s lives? Then one of the simplest, yet most overlooked question you have to ask yourself is do you really even want to say Yes?
As women, we cannot do it all or be it all to everyone no matter how much we try or want to. We all have limits and learning to accept your limits is very important as well. Learning to say No to some things can help to keep you from being overwhelmed and overextended.
Learning the Power Of No Helps You To Set Healthy Boundaries
We all need healthy boundaries. Not just personal boundaries, but also boundaries for your marriage and your family. There have to be lines that you decide as a family that should not be crossed. These healthy boundaries not only help to protect you, your marriage, and your family, but it makes it easier to say No to things that may cross them. For me, one of our healthy marriage boundaries is our vacation time.
My husband, Eric, and I schedule one vacation trip a year without our daughters, now that our girls are a little older. We schedule this trip at the beginning of the year to occur during the summer. Then as the date gets closer, more often than not, Eric will eventually have a work meeting scheduled for the same time. Yet, because we have already planned our trip and we both value investing time in our marriage, he says No to attending those meetings. Yes, he may miss out on something career wise, but him saying No to those meetings says something to me and to others. It says that he values me, the time we spend together, and our marriage above his job. Now if that’s showing that there is power in No, then I don’t what is.
We have so many things in our lives that are competing for our time and attention. So we have to know what to say Yes to and what to say No to. By learning what to say No to we discover the power in No.
I’d love to hear one thing that you had to say No to and found power in that No in the comments!